Because She Needed Him
by Meep meep
Summary: Shepard once said if you cant do something good, do something right. And giving up everything just to save the people you love, well, there's nothing more right than that.
1. Simon

_Disclaimer: not mine, sadly_

Simon understood what it was to feel used, to feel left alone and abandoned. To not understand why the world was crumbling around your feet, why the earth was shattering and your ears were ringing. He'd felt it the day they took his sister away…like he knew what was happening, like he knew straight away the men were not to be trusted, shouldn't be allowed to take his baby sister away from him. She was eight back then.

He knew, also, what it felt like to be blamed, to be the only person in a world of fools to understand what was really going on. He'd felt it all the while as he'd searched for River, day after day of struggles, of climbing over obstacles that no one else could see.

But more than that he knew how it felt to sacrifice everything, _everything_, just to save someone you love. To give up every chance, every hope or dream you ever had, just to get them back. After all, what else but that had he done in his search and release of River. He'd given up his career, his future, his friends and god! even his family, just to get to her. Because she'd needed him.

No one in the 'verse had understood that but him till he'd boarded this ship. Because he was increasingly becoming aware that the Captain had been doing nothing _but_ that ever since the war. And now he was putting what little he had on the line, just for him? For a belief in what was right? It didn't seem possible, but Simon knew instinctively that that was what it was. And he was more grateful than anyone knew.

Because, even while the world was crumbling, as people were suffering, just to protect him, Simon knew exactly what Malcolm Reynolds was going through. Because he'd gone through it himself, a thousand times over.

And he'd do it again, in a heartbeat. Because River needed him. And there was nothing in the 'verse that would stop him from protecting her. Not this time.


	2. Mal

If he understood anything, it was that people worked best together. They helped each other, stood by each other, protected each other. So he understood without any doubt the need to protect the people you love. He did, no matter how little he showed it.

Like when Jayne needed to think this over, he would do weights, and the Shepard would spot him. When Kaylee got upset she went to Inara, when River went stir-crazy Simon would be there. Wash and Zoe were always there for each other. And when he got confused, he just had to take a walk – there was a whole crew there to make him feel. He'd rescued each one of them from some personal demons – Alliance, war, gangs. He'd helped each of them, and they helped him, even when they didn't know when they were doing it. Their presence was enough to bring him back.

They were his crew, but more than that, they were his family. The only family he had. When he needed them they were there, and he did his damndest to make sure he was there when they needed him. He was their friend and their protector. He was their Captain and that meant he had a duty to look out for each member of his crew, even if they thought they could look after themselves (cough, Jayne, cough).

He kept them together, and kept them alive. He was there, he was always there, just in case something went wrong e protected them from the outside, the Alliance, and even from each other. No member of his crew got away with double crossing another, not even if it gets them more money than God (cough, Jayne, cough).

Mal understands what it's like to have your world ripped away from you, so he does his best to provide a new world for his crew – one that no one will destroy or take away. No backstabbing, no war, no outside. He gives them a family, a home and a job. He gives them something to hold onto. Something that he wont let anyone take away.

He gives them a sense of belonging, and they give him something to live for, something to look forward to.

So he understands the need to hold on to someone with all you've got. That's what he does every day, every job, with his crew. He protects them, because he's their Captain. Because they need him to.


	3. Wash

It is understood that people go to other people when they need comfort. When they need to be reminded of what it is to be alive, everyone has someone they can go to.

On board, you could see the relationships develop this way. After a difficult job, you could see everyone break into couples, just for the comfort. Just for the assurance.

Just one person for everyone, depending on the place. Doesn't matter how much you love so-and-so, it's still whomever that you go to when you need the comfort of their presence. That's just the way it is, a fact of life.

You may not even like the person you go to – but that doesn't stop you going to them. You need them, more than you need to hate them. You just need them to be there, and you inherently know that they will be, and that they'll understand. That's why you go to them; they understand what you're going through better than anyone else possibly could.

But sometimes, relationships break down. There are arguments, betrayals. Falsified things that break the bonds you've formed, things you could have stopped, if only you'd seen them coming. And there's nothing you can do but sit, and wait.

I get that, I get the need for others; I get the need to obey and to trust. I just hurts that it isn't me she does that with. It hurts that there's things I cat do for her – I can't protect her, I can't take away the scars the war left behind. I can't ease the hurt she's gone through, and carried with her every day. The only person who can do that is the Captain. But I know she knows I'm here for her, if she needs me.

Sometimes all people need is to take a look around and know that there is someone out there who is waiting, ready, if ever you need them. For some people it's their parents, their siblings, their children or carers. For Zoe, it's me. Or at least, I hope it is.

And sometimes that's enough – just knowing that they're there, read to catch you, ready to listen to whatever you have to say. But sometimes, there are things you just can't bring yourself to say – like with Zoe and the war. But one day, one day she'll open up and tell me. And I'll be there, ready, waiting. Because she needs me to be. And as her husband, I need to be there, just to make sure she's ok.


	4. Simon 2

The arguments are always resolved – quirks of sisters, Simon supposes. Arguments that rage for two minutes then make-ups that last two weeks. But he'd never trade her in.

His family means everything to Simon – even if there's only one member in it. When his father had disowned him, it had broken his heart.

"_If you walk out that door, you will be my son no more"_

"_How does that work, Dad? You proclaim it and make it so? You can shut me out of your heart, but you cannot shut yourself out of mine. I may not be your son, but you'll always be my father"_

"_You aren't the man I raised you to be."_

"_No, I'm not. I'm so much more, and thank God for that"_

But he got over it – River needed him more than he needed a father who had never been there in the first place. And as long as she needed him, he'd hold himself together. Because she couldn't, and someone had to.

His family had never really worked in the traditional way. From the beginning it had been Simon catering to River's needs, while their mother manipulated their father and tried to take control. Simon found it easier to keep out of their way – all they ever did was argue anyway. It had been that way since before Simon could remember.

He always had to watch his mother's movements. Keep her in check; keep her out of their lives. Simon supposed that he had never really been a child, more a minder. More of a parent than both of his combined.

"_And what do YOU suppose I do about the academy, Simon. I can't very well let her live there with you"_

"_I don't care what you do, mother. Just keep your claws out of River."_

And so it went on, day after day of watching, waiting for the next move. Until one day, he looked away. And suddenly, River was in the academy and there was nothing he could do. No way he could help, save to wait and find out what was really happening.

"_I'm telling you, they're DOING something to her and you WON'T LET ME HELP"_

"_Simon, please, calm down…there's no proof that they're doing anything…untoward with River"_

"_I HAVE proof, if you would just let me help her, Dad, please. Please, just let me help her"_

"_I don't know Simon."_

"_What he has, Gabriel, is a bunch of misspelt letters that he says are in 'code'. Trauma has made you mad, boy"_

"_Regan! Don't say that! But Simon, she's right, there's just no proof. It's a government building…nothing is going on."_

"_You never could stand up to her, Dad"_

And he had. Two years of waiting and hoping, of throwing himself into finding his sister during the night, while at the hospital he juggled triple shifts. Two years of baited breath, of worry and sleepless nights. Just biding his time until he could find her.

And eventually he did…but she wasn't the same. They'd changed his baby sister, and there was nothing he could do except be there for her. So he was, he clung to her, looked after her, trying to coax some signs of the old her back into existence. But it never really happened.

But it didn't matter. She was his sister, and as long as she needed him, he'd be there for her. Just because he always had been, and she was the only thing he had life. He'd love her with his last breath, and he knew she knew that, and reciprocated. And that was enough.


End file.
